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Break the Cycle, Talk to Your Kids

Carlton McLeod (CRC Chesapeake) challenged our church so powerfully last week, concerning our role in teaching our children the truth. He convinced us that discipling kids is not the church’s or school’s responsibility but parents. It would happen that our family’s vacation was scheduled for the following week so we spent a week in LA with all four sons! Wow!

During our travels I relearned one thing. I have to talk more to my children. We all communicate by text, twitter or phone every day but I feel challenged to talk more. There were some specific areas that I realized were critical.

First, relationships with the opposite sex and

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proper respect for women. My boys are bombarded with a worldview that treats women like property and objects of male pleasure. We have to talk more about how to love, cherish and protect the women in our society.

Second, serving our culture. We hear so much about “gettin paid” and “makin money” but God calls us to serve and bless our generation. We have to talk more with our children about discovering purpose and bringing hope and light to hurting and broken people.

Finally we have to talk about God’s view and what it means to have a biblical worldview. A view based on scripture, the ten commandments and the words of Jesus.

No matter what you do or fail to do, keep talking to your children. Mine are all adults now but they need my wife and I to speak into their lives like never before. Turn the tv off and talk!

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  1. February 21st, 2012 at 20:47 | #1

    So true. I have a 19 year old son who I just feel so out of touch with these days. I hear people say that it’s too late to raise him. I raised him well with areas that needed much help. Now I need to reach him. Reach out and talk and listen. I know he is a great man. It’s just going to take time, prayer, fasting and communication for that shoot to sprout up.
    We as parents make mistakes but I will not give up on my son. The enemy’s plans will not work.
    No weapon formed shall prosper.
    Thank you for adding this blog. I came across it at the right time. I just hung up from arguing with my son asking myself what to do. And I have the answer, talk even when it seems he’s not listening.
    God bless your family and you.

  2. Ivan anderson
    November 8th, 2011 at 09:43 | #2

    Bishop I just want to tell you that I was baptized and continued in living for god in the name of jesus great things have happened to me but if it wasn’t for brother jack rose who gave his time and showed the light of the word and me giving my life to christ I would be dead with no end all of my victories my blessings my new family is because of our lord and savior had not the lord led me to crc I would have gotten into something unworldly everyday I thank and praise the lord for the teachings and bible studies with brother jeff and sister juanita I just want to thank you for being at my baptism in fact you was the one who.baptized me that day. Well don’t mean to take up any time I had moved back to new york because jobs in virginia were very scarce since then god has paved then way for me I will never forget my family at crc even at the times of me attending you’re church and attending the bible studies I was homeless and living out of my car gave whatever money I had to show the lord that I have not forgotten. Thank you all.

  3. beverly
    November 3rd, 2011 at 20:41 | #3

    I am praying the we would have a pray ministry at our church-we could meet once or twice a month and pray as you or pastor Janeen has given instructions-I have prayed and continue to pray for this for our church-also wanted to suggest we have one wednesday a month for prayer/fasting in place of Crazy Church. I know we have the Life Group reconstruction going on but I really feel prayer is so much needed. I pray and continue o pray that God will answer this prayer.Thank You.

  4. November 1st, 2011 at 18:24 | #4

    good words. My wife and I raised 4 sons. they are all saved, filled, and called. All serving God and seeking to fulfill their respective calling. I had to learn the hard way the importance of communication. I wasn’t always perfect but the experience has helped me to learn how to be better now.

  5. Brenda Hines
    August 27th, 2011 at 15:20 | #5

    You always have a good word. Thank you.

  6. Charlene DuPlantier
    May 1st, 2011 at 05:53 | #6

    Your last line “turn the tv off and talk” could not have been truer. Today, for some odd reason, the remote control was lost. My husband and I looked at each other late in the day and said, “no big deal”. My oldest said, “we just have to go back to the old days, get up and turn the channel.” My youngest, who we believe missed placed it, feels really bad. But, it is the best thing to have happened.

    Today, was a day of training and learning. Training the two of them how to clean the home was the order of the day. What made it even better was having the greatest distracting element (tv) off. We had time to do things that matter which was preparation. If, my sons do not know how to clean or focus on the details of their own home, what kind of men or husbands will they be later for a wife, children, job or society?

    I truly believe that today, we learned that meaningful life lessons can come from the small moments of working together in the home and talking without the tv as a competitor.

    Thanks for this blog, perfect timing!

  7. joyce robinson
    March 4th, 2011 at 14:01 | #7

    I agree with you and thank you for reminding me to do more talking even tho my son is 29 he still needs guidance form mom.

  8. joyce robinson
    March 4th, 2011 at 14:00 | #8

    I agree with you and thank you for reminding me to do more talking even tho my son is 29 he still needs guideance form mom.

  9. January 19th, 2011 at 16:04 | #9

    Thank you, Bishop McBath for your latest book Living At the Next Level, and it helped me grow and achieve a lot , more than I felt I deserved at times. I recieved certificates and awards at work and ministry, I was awarded the highest award for 2010 year, in my department for excellance and was given bonuses ,special prevaliges and the Presidents award , from Dr. Pat Robinson, Gordan Robinson and Michael Little. I couldn’t have a better Bishop that helps others Lead and serve!

  10. Lori A. Butts
    January 19th, 2011 at 11:07 | #10

    I was reminded that my mom was zealous about family Bible study back in the day. I used to think it was a bit boring but I do thank God for this upbringing. Now that I’m a mom (of 2 young girls), it’s my desire that they are saved, know God’s heart and understand God’s Word in their youth because of the life I live among them. “It starts from the head down” is often used in business circles, but that adage also applies within our families. I appreciate such heart-felt and uncompromising teaching. Love and Blessings!

  11. Diana Richardson
    December 29th, 2010 at 16:40 | #11

    Diana Richardson :Dear Courtney,
    I really thank you for sharing your thoughts with us about talking with your sons,however, I don’t have children,but I do have a boat load of nieces and nephews and I would so enjoy talking with them about the vision of having a biblical worldview maybe you can help me get started in the right direction.I also want to take this time to say please continue to let God use you I want to tell you that message you preached and God told you if you preached the message that he would deliver let me tell you that message was so for me that day I thank you for being obedient because that day I was so delivered PRAISE GOD What God speaks to you HE WILL DO.TRUST THAT. CONTINUED BLESSING
    Diana Richardson
    Sister in Christ

  12. December 21st, 2010 at 10:45 | #12

    It is refreshing to see a great leader be candid enough about his growth process so we can all benefit and change from it.

    My wife and I often talk about the struggle we will have when we start raising kids in a sex/sports/money obsessed culture. As time marches forward, and our culture becomes more imprudent, parents will NEED to increase their role in their children’s lives by developing their children’s respect and maintaining relationship.

  13. Meltonie Brooks
    November 22nd, 2010 at 11:44 | #13

    Looking for a job,were I can Dwell in the LORD!!!!!
    Matthew 6:33

  14. November 9th, 2010 at 10:55 | #14

    So true Pastor McBath. Its like a warm blanket is being pulled over them, so they don’t resist. They know something happening but they warmth causes them to choke down the loss and embrace the possiblities of self. But when I speak to my adult children, I say “Hey, where’s the love in that remark”. They must take care not to become self-serving.

    Member of SPBC, Richmond, Va.

  15. keecha Goodwyn
    November 3rd, 2010 at 08:31 | #15

    You are right Bishop. We have to talk to our kids,and like you said before they can have a lot of voices in their heads but we want our voices to be heard the loudiest. Teaching your children to honor the words of God above all is not easy because so many children do not get that training anymore therefore your children can feel they are being held to a higher standard, and the fact of the matter is they are. We as children of God should be concern with pleasing God not people or culture. There is were the blessing are!

  16. October 12th, 2010 at 16:27 | #16

    This is a very timely blog for me to read. I just ministered this message to the women while on our annual women’s retreat this past weekend. Thank you for posting and confirming in my spirit what God is challenging our generation to do for the next generation of leaders.

  17. Zelda V. Brown
    September 29th, 2010 at 17:37 | #17

    I agree,my children are adults with their own lives, and this past weekend my 26 year old single son texted his 33 year old married sister and myself and asked that we 2 come alone to his home. We complied. I was surprised because they had questions for me. Like you bishop I knew I had a good relationship with my children, but it was an eye opener to learn that some of things they had issues with was not dealing with outside forces but the inside forces namely “US,we 3”. It was great!! We have work to do, but some hurts were healed. I Thank God for that powerful messages and say to all don’t think its just the young children you are raising that need direction and guidance it’s also our adult children that we may have to go back and iron out somethings and move forward to continue to grow.

  18. September 14th, 2010 at 11:07 | #18

    God is truly amazing, visiting crcglobal.org to check out the Women’s Conference this morning and to print Bishop’s notes and then scrolling down to Pastor McCloud’s notes on “EnChallengement” “to Pursue Multigenerational Faithfulness” as I was reading it I thought “What” did I miss this? The same thing that’s been on my heart over the past week, amazing. I’m not sure how I got to Bishop’s Blog, but I was astounded, because I was just asking the Lord this morning what can I do to help my 14 year old great niece who can recite psalms 91, but are making bad grades in school and being pulled in the wrong direction by her peers and how do you talk to adult children who thinks “their business is none of your business”. After reading Bishop’s Blog, I’m encouraged to talk more to my family even when I think they are not listening. Thanks Bishop and Pastor Janeen, continue the good works.

  19. Peggy Stevens
    August 28th, 2010 at 14:29 | #19

    OUCH!!! So true Bishop! We have a tendency to talk at our kids rather than with them. Guilty as charged! Talking is fast becoming a lost art. Texting has taken the place of voice-to-voice or face-to-face conversation. The disadvantage is that when I’m trying to advise my son (via text), he gets to answer or comment with one word responses which literally drives me nuts! Obviously he’s not “hearing” me or he’s pressing the delete button. (Lol)

  20. Margaret Bernard
    August 27th, 2010 at 19:00 | #20

    I was at home in NY and didn’t get to hear Pastor McLeod’s message. However,after reading the above blog,I agree that we as parents should keep communication lines open with our children,especially in this day and age when people “text” more and communicate less. When my sons were younger,I made it a habit of praying with them every day. Today, it continues into their college life.I often prayer with them over the phone,emailed them scripture verses and talked to them, several times during the week. It has been a blessing to my life as well as theirs. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m pestering them by calling them so often.I’ve heard others say,”they are grown,leave them alone”. I hear what they are saying but yet I continue to call my sons and prayer. We cannot become lax because the world is coming at them with everything “potent” and if we do not keep God’s view at the forefront,our children would become a target for the enemy, regardless of their ages.

  21. Suzette
    August 27th, 2010 at 18:37 | #21

    Bishop, I agree with you that parents are ultimately responsible for their children. I think if more parents would embrace the opportunity to nurture and train their kids, there might be fewer academic and behavioral problems in schools.

  22. Anthony
    August 27th, 2010 at 15:50 | #22

    Great wisdom…

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